i’ve kept myself on lockdown for…it has been about 3 weeks now. i have not progressed anywhere NEAR where i should be with my MCAT studying and it is three weeks from tomorrow. all this self torture and seeing my friends a total of 3 times this break has been useless. if i move this exam back, im cutting out at least half of the schools i can apply to for the masters programs i want this cycle. if i dont, i risk FAILING. i dont know. with a week left to decide, i better hit that addie and get crackin.

my recent fashion obsession is dominating my life. breaking from studying = looking at sites like gilt/ideeli for the latest sales. im dying to buy another bag to use for school and change my style a little. with graduation only a couple months away, i need to (or want to) change my look into something more mature - but still sexy(?) i suppose. i don’t want to dress old - but i want to dress my age. definitely throwing out half of my clothes this winter to accomplish this haha.

next week i return to the miserable conj. i know this semester needs to be different than all the others in the sense that i need to be cramming for mcats and acing all my classes (which i should have been doing from day one but talk about fucked up priorities..) and maintaining some level of self control. whatever. if i go to jamaica thats 2 weeks before the next mcat exam date (WHICH I MUST TAKE IF I MOVE IT). guess i cant get as fucked up as i’d like to in jamaica which would suck. or more like i cant smoke since that makes me lazy as fuck. ah we’ll see what happens. i guess i should get off tumblr and start making something happen.

ps. i am definitely getting a tattoo. waiting for my friend to do it with me but i can’t wait. new year, new start, new mark. we’re gonna be real people by the end of this year.