so after what could have possibly been the worst weekend of my life i think im starting to progress from it. this time is nothing like the last five times. i dont necessarily feel at peace, as i can hear him saying those words to me, but i feel okay. i’m sad and actually really angry, but i’m trying to channel that elsewhere. i dont need help, or resources, or people to talk to necessarily. i think at this point, i just need to be alone, and i really need to finally learn how to be alone before i can get back into a relationship. i have been in two relationships that both deserved their own preview on jerry springer and a good portion of it does have to do with me, my temper, and how i handle that. but more so, i always seem to find the wrong guys. nothing wrong with them, mind you, they’re great to be friends with etc. but their personality never fit mine. i dont want to be cynical as to say i’ll never find anyone else but i dont want to be unrealistic in saying that i’ll probably find my prince charming. my mother was so lucky to find someone as patient and as understanding as my dad is. i feel like men our generation have seem to have lost the chivalry and respect that was so important way back when. although i can say its all a learning experience, for the first time in my entire life, i’m actually scared to fall in love.